Turnips Ignored Again On Thanksgiving

Millions of Americans ignored Turnips again this year, turning their attention to much more popular and better tasting food at the Thanksgiving table.

“I really don’t know why I make turnips year after year,” Rhode Island Mother Jennifer Milton commented as her family ate their Thanksgiving dinner. “I always made them because my Aunt loved them, but she’s been dead for about ten years now. I guess I still make it out of habit. Now it’s some sort of tradition I guess.”

In a nationwide poll conducted Thursday evening revealed a staggering 93% of Thanksgiving dinner guests passed the turnips on to the person seated next to them while filling up on mashed potatoes, Grandma’s kickass stuffing, and the cranberry sauce that comes out of the can.

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